The Other Side
by Holyrooker
Summary: Sam and Merle were happily living at SafeZone, with the rest of the group along with their young child Tess; when a man known as Negan rips happiness from each one of them. Killing Glenn and capturing Sam, taking her for his own pleasure and introducing her to things she never thought possible. How will Merle, Rick and the others deal with the absence of the two beloved characters?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Eeny..."

My heart pounded almost clean out of my chest with every step he took. He was tall, he towerd over us with a menicing smirk on his face.

"Meany..."

I looked over to see Merle on his knees next to me, his and daryl both looked like wild animals ready to attack and it scared me.

I glanced up to see he was slowly stepping closer to me, my best option was to just look at the ground and i was so wrong.

"Miney..."

His footsteps stopped and i could see his shadow lingering in front of me, my eyes filled with stinging tears the longer he stayed.

I watched as a single tear fell to the ground, my heart stopped as he shifted his weight.

"Now now..." He growled with a scoff. "Who said it was okay for you to cry yet?... I haven't even started!"

I wanted to wretch as i swallowed the bile in my throat. "Whats the name?" He asked... It wasn't a question, it was a demand and i couldn't bring myself to answer it.

I flinched as he swiftly reached down and snapped in front of my face. "You who! You still here honey! Answer my damn question!" He yelled in a stern tone.

I tried, but i couldn't bring my vocal chords to make words, all that came out was something that didn't sound human, as more tears fell i could hear Merle's breathing speed up. Thats when i felt his hand come in front of my face and lift up my hair that was hiding my face, i didn't look up.

"Dont fucking touch her!" Merle yelled pulling on his restraints. My hair was quickly let go and Negan moved over to Merle pointing the bat wrapped in barbed wire at his face.

"Now _that..._ that is _not_ acceptable!" Merle glared up at the man with rage. "If _any_ of you try that shit again ill have to pick more than one!"

I looked at the two men out of the corner of my eye, Negan got in Merles face, eye level with him "and I will touch her if i fucking want to..." I heard him say in a low growl that sent shivers down my spine.

At that moment all i wanted was to be at home, back at SafeZone with Tess and Merle and the rest of the group.

The next thing i knew Negans hand was in my hair as he jerked my head up, i kept my eyes on the ground not able to look him in the face. "Name!" He demanded leting my hair go and moving the fallen stray hairs out of my face.

"Her name is Sam..." Said Rick, clearly distraught.

Negan didn't take his eyes off me "I didn't ask you!" He yelled making me flinch.

"Now... For the last damn time! Whats...your...name?" He slowly kneeled down to get eye level with me.

"S-sam..." My voice was barely over a whisper.

He reached out and placed his gloved hand under my chin, not forcing me this time. "Hell! At least look at me!" He let out a laugh, he was just so charismatic...he had charm ill give him that.

I did as he commanded and looked into his empty brown eyes, as he smirked at me.

"Damn darlin!" He shouted.

'Darlin?'

"You really are scared arent you!" Tears filled my eyes knowing he was right "now dont cry! The best part hasn't even happened yet..." He said as he forcefully wiped a tear with his thumb. Glancing at Merle with a smirk.

he walked away from me but my eyes were clued, like i was in a trance. He was marvelous but a damn monster at the same time.

"catch...a tiger..." He continued with his game as i watched him, he would occasionally look at me forcing me to look away.

He stepped back my way again pointing the bat at each one of us...my family.

He pointed at Maggie who was on my left "By..."

I closed my eyes not wanting to look at him.

"its toe..." I looked up to see him pointing at Merle instead...he had skipped me! Thats when i caught him looking at me, he gave me that evil smirk of his and winked...i looked around and it felt like i was the only one that saw it because no one moved a muscle.

It felt like things sped up then because the words that stuck in my head were "and you...are...it..."

Glenn...

Maggie let out a cry, along with so many others.

Negan said a few words that i couldn't hear then the bat came down, the sound of it hitting his skull will never leave my mind, the screaming, the crying...

After it was all over Negan stood there proud, examining Lucille...his bat. I sobbed as i looked over at Merle who was looking at the ground.

"M-m..." I couldn't even get his name out, but he knew...he always knew when i needed him. I let out a loud sob as he looked up at me. Negan saw this interaction and stepped up to us shaking his head and laughing.

"none of that! Get up!" He gave me no time at all to even do as he asked before he grabbed my arm and jerked me up, dragging me infont of the group... I was no longer the strong girl they new as they saw me sobbing. My knees went out as i fell to the ground, i couldn't force my self to stand. I wiped my tears and sweat with my hand, smearing dirt all over my face. Thats when Negan picked me up holding me to his chest.

"Dont mess up that pretty face of yours!" He grabbed my jaw forcefully and wiped the dirt off my face.

"Now your gonna be a good girl and go get in the RV!" He said.

"And if you any of you want her alive you wont try anything stupid!" He looked at me and grinned then looked at Merle "better kiss you little Dixon goodbye because your _all_ mine now! And i _dont_ share!" He said.

No one said a word...they just let it happen as he made me get in the RV.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The ride was agonizing, i could feel his powerful stare on me. I sat there silent untill i couldnt take it anymore "what do you want from me..." I said just above a whisper.

"I thought i made that _very_ clear back there." He said in a low tone. I didnt say anything, i tilted my head in a confused way "youre here for one thing...and one thing only." He said with a growl...the man made me shiver, he wasnt unattractive and i felt wrong for thinking that...he just killed one of our men but i wanted to know more... I was intrigued.

My heart also stopped at the thought of what he wanted me for...and if i wanted to keep my family alive i would have to do it...whatever he says...but merle, i love him too much to do it...but its what i had to do...they just left me, the didnt even try to save me...i was hurt...angry.

When we finally arrived where they lived... A big community, from what i could see they had way more stuff than we could ever imagine.

"Follow me princess..." He said with a smirk as he lead me through a building and into a dim lit room...nicely decorated. Thats when i knew what i was about to have to do, my stomach churned and tears filled my eyes as he locked the door turning on his heels to look at me... I didnt want this... Merle was the only thing i was used to and i prayed Negan would be gentle but i knew he wouldnt... Merle and i hadnt had sex in forever...and i could tell by Negans stature he was much bigger than Merle...

"you know how this goes..." He said with a growl. I nodded as a tear rolled down my face, he walked closer to me grabbing my hips and pulling me into his waste, i could feel him and i knew he wasn't going to go easy on me.

He slammed me down onto his bed by my throat, he let go and began to kiss and suck at my neck. I couldn't help thinking of Merle and what he would say, i was his everything...

"P-please stop... I cant" i cried.

He looked up at me "dont even pull that shit with me princess because when im done fucking you your going to be lying there begging for more!" He said looking into my eyes.

i let that sink in... I had to keep my people alive. "Okay..." I said.

He grinned and cocked his head "say it." He said gruffly.

"Negan...fuck me...please." I saw him bite his lip then run his tongue over it.

"God damn that turns me on!" He grabbed the button of my pants and undid it as he pulled them off, along with my panties. He took his clothes off not taking his eyes off me once, pulling up my shirt i could see his eyes scanning over my body, not missing a thing.

Once he had finished taking me in he looked at me with a concerned facial expression, i was shaking...badly.

"dont worry...sooner or later you'll warm up to me." and just as he finished that statement he pushed his massive length into my entrance, creating a sharp pain that i wasn't used to. I let out a whimper and bit my tongue, another tear ran down my face.

"fuck...your so tight!" he said with excitement. After the pain, came something id never felt before with Merle...and it wasn't bad.

i felt terrible for liking what Negan was doing to me, but i wasnt gonna let him know. I kept quiet not looking at him until finally he hit my spot and i let out a loud moan of pleasure.

Negan grinned and i looked up at him for the first time this entire time and i knew that in that moment i wanted him... maybe not so much him, but i wanted what he was doing to me. He pounded into me faster as he reached up and grabbed my hair with both hands, his elbows on the side of my head. "Say my name." he growled and as he said, i obeyed.

it drove him crazy, he leaned down and bit my neck...that was new for me and it aroused me even more. with every move our bodies worked together and created something i never imagined possible

he continued until i arched my back, moaning his name as i reached my climax. Soon after he came inside of my, collapsing on top of me. We were both out of breath as he rolled off of me laying beside me.

i layed there silent thinking about what had just happened, weather or not i wanted more or i wanted to cry. to my surprise Negan sat up and moved to the headboard of his bed, pulling back the covers, motioning for me. i did as he said, i layed next to him naked in his bed.

"god damn! you're such a good girl" he exclaimed tucking my hair behind my ear.

i smiled at him, unknowingly. It made him grin "what did i tell you..." he smirked.

"so...the Asian? how'd you know him?" Negan asked...bringing me back to reality. "He was Maggie's husband...the sick one. His name was Glenn, we weren't close... him and Merle didn't get along..." i said looking down thinking about him.

"Merle?...thats his name? i only knew him as a Dixon...im guessing the two of you...you know liked to get in on?" he said with a laugh.

I shook my head "were married.." i said not looking at him. He looked down at my hands "wheres the ring?" he asked. i took a breath and pulled it out of my pocket, holding it out in front of me looking at it.

he held out his hand and my stomach dropped. "give it.." he said looking up at my eyes that were now filled with tears.

"but..." i looked up at him trying to hold back my tears, he raised an eye brow that meant now.

With a shaky hand i handed the ring over, turning away from him i cried and i couldn't stop.

i sobbed and he just sat there listening until i heard him move toward me.

"here, just dont you dare wear the damn thing around me. understand?" he said sternly as he handed me the ring.

"yes...thank you." i said putting it back in my pocket.

"go shower, ill have your closed washed, you can sleep in this..." i nodded as i stood up and walked to his bathroom.

"oh! and for obeying me so well you can sleep in here. Keep it up and you'll get rewarded more often" he said with a wink, that made my stomach turn in a way Merle could never do.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

That night after i finished showering, i got out and noticed Negan had left a large shirt of his on the counter near the sink, i picked it up and could smell him on the shirt. it was very distinct...it was good. he had taken my shirt, jeans, bra and panties to be washed so i literally only had a shirt. i started to become angry thinking that he didnt give me any pants until i looked around and saw a pair of plaid boxers, which were also his. i had to roll them up a ton because other wise they would fall clean off of me.

I walked back into the bedroom and sat on the bed, my hair was still dripping as i stood up and walked to the door, i realized quickly he had locked the door from the outside when i tried to turn the door knob.

I let out a long sigh as i turned around to look around the room...i couldnt stop comparing everything to Merle.

The room was clean, Merles wouldnt have been.

Merles room would have had needles and cigarette butts everywhere...not Negan.

...Merle loved me...Negan didnt.

Merle was caring and gentle with me...he knew me and was always by me side no matter what... even when i tried to not have our child, he was there... he wanted Tess but he gave me the option, even after lying to him about it.

my heart ached as i thought of her, not being able to be with my family killed me...and i wasnt going to dare tell Negan about her... not if i wanted to keep her safe.

I fell asleep alone in Negans bed that smelled just like him...and i dreamed of going home to Merle and Tess...and everyone else.

I was startled awake by Negan stumbling in the room, talking to himself. He flipped on the light switch blinding my eyes as i sat up and looked at him. He turned to look at me and grinned "well dont you just look comfy!" he said with a slur stepping closer to me. thats when i noticed the hickey on his neck and i felt my stomach flip...i wasn't jealous it just hurt...it always has been that way for me.

"whats that?...on your neck?" i asked looking at him.

Negan huffed and cocked his head "ya wanna know what this is princess?... none of your god damn business!" he shouted sternly causing me to flinch. i could smell the alcohol on his breath and it struck a bad nerve in me...ive been sober since Tess was born and i refused to be around that kind of stuff...after everyone at safezone figured out i had a problem they tried to kick me out and Merle wasnt having that so he made me stop.

my stomach was in knots as i looked up at him, holding a bottle of whiskey.

"you shouldnt be doing that..." i mumbled looking at the ground.

thats when i knew i should have just kept my mouth shut because rage took over him as he walked toward me getting in my face, i could feel his hot breath on my cheeks. "since when has it been okay for _you_ to tell _me_ what to do!" he yelled glaring at me. "stand the fuck up!" he yelled grabbing my arm jerking me off the bed, to the floor.

"now!" he screamed as i stood up, angry... i wasn't upset.

"and since _when_ has it ever been okay for _you_ to practically make _me_ your fucking slave?!" i yelled back.

thats when he reared back and slapped me across the face with the back of his hand, not hard enough to hurt bad but hard enough to scare me. "Are you giving me a fucking attitude?!" he yelled at me making me jump...and i had to admit i was scared now.

He stared me down for what seems like forever, and then the unthinkable happened.

"get in here! now!" he screamed grabbing my arm and jerking me into the bathroom, shoving me to the floor.

He held out the nearly full bottle of whiskey to me and smirked "drink it!" he demanded.

At first i was confused as to why he would make me do this...id drank plenty in my life time and this wouldn't be a punishment...and if i had to do it to get out of getting killed i would.

"all of it!" he said with a little laugh, thats when my stomach came to my throat... i haven't drank in three years not a drop and thats what scared me... i knew i couldnt drink a whole bottle of whiskey by my self.

He put the bottle in my hand "better think next time you wanna tell me what i need to do!" he said as i brought the bottle to my lips.

It was a little after 3:00 am and i was over half way done with the bottle... i couldnt see straight and i felt like i was gonna puke. "Negan...i-im" my words were slurring bad, my crying not helping.

I got up and ran to the bathroom, retching into the toilet.

"aww! can princess not handle her alcohol?" Negan said standing in the door way. "i cant drink no more! please dont make me i cant!" i said crying and leaning back over to barf again.

"what was that darlin? i cant hear you!" he laughed. me not understanding that he was making fun of me said "p-please dont make me drink it all! im sorry Negan!" i sobbed.

he laughed again "one more time!" he said slapping his knee. "i-im sorry! please dont make me!" i said practically begging him. he stood there thinking for a minute "hmm... just a little bit more." he said with a laugh handing me the bottle. i let out a sob and took the last few swallows before puking again.

"there...now youre done...what do you have to say now?" he said kneeling down to look into my eyes as i pushed my heavy head away from the toilet. "im sorry.." i slurred. He smirked and picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder. he walked to the bed and layed me down "c-can i go to sleep?" i asked him trying to hold my head up...

"nope! first im gonna fuck your brain right out of that pretty little head of yours!" he said.

and as he said he did, and im not going to lie i enjoyed every minute of it.

After we were done he rolled over to look at me "do you understand now that you do not backtalk me?" i nodded trying to catch my breath. "well...im gonna make damn well sure you do." he said sitting up, i gave him a confused look. he just smiled, leaned over and began kissing and sucking on my neck. all the way from my jaw to my entrance, and i loved it... i dont know what he meant by making sure i understood.

he finally pulled away from me and looked at me in the eyes "n-no...please dont stop" i whispered. He bit the inside of my thigh and began to trail back up my body, leaving me breathless..

we finally fell asleep late that night, my eyes were glued to him with every move he made, he was marvelous...


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

I woke up to a pounding headache and Negan rummaging around in the bathroom. I layed there for a while remembering the night before...it was terrible...but it ended really well...

"Wakey wakey!" Negan shouted as he walked into the bedroom fixing his hair. "we got a big day! Get in here and look in this mirror so you can see what I see" he said with a wink...what the hell did he mean.

I stood up covering my top half, which was completely naked, i had my panties on though. Slowly walked into the bathroom and looked up at the tall man "what do you-" he cut me off. "oh! were paying a visit to your people today! your coming." I smiled but something just felt off...thats when i looked in the mirror...

hickeys...not just one or two, they were all over my neck, my breast, my hips and my stomach... my jaw dropped when everything connected in my head and Negan could see the peices coming together in my mind as well...

i tried my best to replay the moments from last night until it hit me...this is what he meant by making sure i understood...

a tear rolled down my face "w-why would you do this? i cant go! Merle cant see this..." Negan chuckled "well hes gonna today!...and its not like you didnt want it princess..." he whispered as he stepped closer to me, his hands on my bare waist "in fact..." he kissed my neck sending shivers down my spine "you didnt...want me to stop" I let out a soft moan as i surrendered to him.

he spun me around pulling me close to him, and for the first time he pressed his lips to mine. One of his hands cupped my face while the other was on my hip, pulling me into him.

he pulled away and pressed his forehead to mine and looked me in the eye "now...are you gonna be a good girl from now on?" he asked.

"yes..." I whispered before he pulled me back into him, his tongue exploring my mouth as he picked me up by my ass and sat me on the counter.

shortly after that we got in the RV and headed to SafeZone, to see the group and for Negan and his men to get half our stuff...as much as i wanted to go i didnt want them to see me...not like this... ive never had so many hickeys and bite marks on me in my life...

Negan got out of the RV and i followed him "dont fuck up..." he whispered as we entered the gate. The first and only person i saw was Rick, i ran to him and he welcomed me in a warm hug as Negan watched out of the corner of his eye... Rick didnt ask about what he saw...he already knew...

"where is he?" i looked up at rick. "the house with tess...are you sure?" he asked concerned. "yes...keep her hidden...please" i looked out the corner of my eye to see Negan pacing as his men loaded things up. Rick walked off and i moved my way over to Negan "i cant do this..." i said looking at the ground "yes you can...you will." He said nodding his head and looking up giving me the signal merle was walking out.

I walked up to him with my head hung low...at first he didnt speak he just looked me up and down. i finally looked up, he just stood there taking it all in. "come on.." he mumbled turning to walk to the house.

once we got inside he turned to look at me just as i shut the door. "i need to know... " he growled. "know what" i asked in a timid tone.

"i get whatever the hell happened with the two of you..but i gotta know did he...?" i shook my head and thats when i saw the anger "no...it wasnt rape.." i said. "then what the hell was it! let me see! i wanna see all of it!" he demanded i began to cry and slowly lifted up my shirt and let him see it. "why..." he growled. "to keep my family alive! i did what i had to do!" i said "so fucking the enemy is what you had to do?! how many times!" he yelled "twice..." i cried.

"i didnt want to but i had to merle! i love you and i want you and tess safe!... he made me drink..." i said. "h-he left these because i didnt _obey_ him...he knew this would happen..im so sorry merle.." i said wiping my tears as i wrapped my arms around him. "i love you..." he mumbled "i love you too..." he didnt let go of me for what seemed like forever. until i heard Negan call and he kissed me goodbye as i walked out, merle didnt come out because he and i both knew he wouldnt be able to control himself if he did...


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

After Negan took me back to where i now lived he took me straight to his room...which wasnt a surprise. He sat me down on the bed and stood infront of me. "now princess..." he said slowly "im sorry i had to do that to you today...but it had to be done." he took his jacket off and tossed it on the floor.

he looked around, i could tell he didnt have much to say to me and neither did i to him...

"have you eaten?" he asked pacing the floor "no...im not hungry." i said looking down at my feet. Negan shrugged and took off his shirt, it made my heart race... "im going to take a shower...you can join me if you want.." he looked at me with soft eyes and my heart stopped... i had an option?

i didnt respond quick enough so he took it as a no and walked to the bathroom, undressed and got in...after about a minute or so my thoughts got the best of me and i stood up and walked to the bathroom.

when i got in the hot shower his back was to me, i looked at his large muscular shoulders and let my eyes explore his body...before i realized what was happening i slowly wrapped my arms around him and leaned my head on his back, i felt him let out a breath. "i told you...youd warm up to me princess..."

and he was right... he turned around and put a hand in my hair and put the other around my lower back pulling me close to him.

"...let me kiss you." he said in a low voice looking down at me, i looked up at him with inviting eyes as he pulled me in kissing me slowly.

It registered in my head that now the guilt of what i was doing was slowly fading away and the feelings i had toward Negan were intense. it was just something about him that Merle didnt have and it made me want him so bad.

3 weeks later

a few weeks have went by and i haven't gotten to see my family... Negan isnt around alot but when he is hes with me, for a while we only fucked...we talk now...well more than we used to at least.

hes starting to ask me questions about myself and not just sex...i still have to do what he wants when he wants but i dont mind...

"sam?"

i snapped out of my daze and looked at him startled "sorry..." i said quietly "do you want a drink?" he asked as he opened a bottle of wine... "i dont drink... im 3 years sober..." Negan scoffed and raised a confused eye brow "no your not... i think we both remember you drinking that entire bo-" i stopped him.

i was laying on the bed staring at the ceiling "i used to be...until then.." i said. Negan didnt reply for a minute "oh...well why didnt you tell me that silly?" he said laughing...i wasnt, i closed my eyes and took a deep breath not knowing where this next sentence would land me.

"i didnt want you to hit me again..." i said quietly. Negan got quiet "woah okay...this shit got serious real fuckin quick..." he stood up and walked over to the bed and sat down next to me "look...im sorry about that okay? my bad..." he said kissing my forehead.

"Negan...do you realize that im not a toy that you can just bring out of the closet when you need a good time... im a human being and i wish youd start treating me like one...and dont get mad...please i just cant keep things to myself because your the only person i have to talk to..." i heard him huff "i can put you to work if thats what you want... im not letting you go back there...they dont care about you anyways, do you not see what im saying? im helping you out. i could send you back there with that group...no food...no water...i guarentee you if i gave you the chance to walk out of here right now you wouldnt take it...you know why?" i couldnt tell if it was a question or a statment and that scared me because i did know why and so did he. "yes i know why..." i whispered timidly.

"tell me.." he looked at me with soft eyes, enough to even make me think he cared, he tucked a stray hair behind my ear.

"because you..." i said looking into his eyes, i knew he knew exactly what i ment even though he acted like he didnt.

"because i need you Negan..."

As much as i didnt wanna say it i knew it was true...


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

"I love you..." he whispered looking at me from across the table in our home. "...and i know ive messed up, alot...more than i can count of both of my damn hands..." he grinned a little bit and i gave him a confused look...this wasnt like him. "and i want to spend the rest of my time i have on this hell of an earth with you..." thats when i looked over at Daryl who was watching from the seat at the end of the table.

He got down on one knee and pulled a simple diamond ring out of his back pocket, tears filled my eyes as the biggest smile spread across my face.

"will ya marry me darlin?" he said with a promising smile, looking up at me.

"merle! y-yes!" he stood up quickly but i gave him no time to even give me the ring before i jumped in his arms, holding on to him.

then suddenly all happiness was taken from me when i was ripped out of merles arms amd slung to the ground by the hands of negan.

"now _that..._ that is not acceptable! I told you i _do not_ share!" He yelled.

He swung lucille from side to side whistling calmly.

"And now princess...your gonna pay!"

The bat raised above negans head and fell down hard on merles

"No! Merle!" I screamed, jolting myself awake.

i looked over to see negan staring at me "what in the ever livin hell is wrong with you?" He asked. "And why are you dreaming of that fucker and not me?" He asked again.

"You were in it... I whispered, a single tear ran down my face. Negan pulled me in and kissed my forehead, wiping it away.

"Dont you cry my dear... I think i know what will help you..." He slung himself out of bed and threw on pants.

"Were gonna pay a surprize visit to your friends... Would you like that princess?" Negan asked smiling at me.

"yes..." I said getting up.

"But first...you gotta put this on." He threw me a black leather jacket, similar to his that read: _Property of Negan._ On the back, he gave me a brand new pair of jeans and boots.

"Where did you get all of this?" I asked him picking up the jeans.

"I have connections...whats wrong? I cant give you stuff?" He said raising an eyebrow.

...it was nice, and i needed new clothes but this wasnt me... He was changing me in more ways that i wanted.

"Yes...thank you." I said kissing him on the cheek.

I didnt want to upset him...

We got in the car and he turned on the radio, playing a CD. The whole way there he had his hand on my thigh, not lightly either...

"Little pig, little pig! ...let...me...in!" He yelled banging on the gate with lucille. I glanced down at my watch, 4:56 am.

I was startled as the gate screeched open, and there stood Rick and Michonne.

"Well hello! We thought we'd stop by for a little visit...excuse us." He said, taking me by the hand and leading me into my home. "Wheres everyone?" I asked rick who was looking around confused. "Houses...you alright?" He asked. I nodded and looked up at negan.

"Now...show me where you live... Sorry excuse me i meant _lived_." He said.

I walked to the first house on the right, down the long driveway and into the garage. I looked around and took a deep breath...it had been so long since id been here.

I turned the knob and it was unlocked...it always was, we trusted these people. I walked into the dark house and looked around the kitchen, and saw beer bottles scattered on the table and an ashtray full of cigarettes.

"well...someones a bit of a drinker.." Negan whispered.

"Merles asleep..." I said in a hushed tone.

"Well go see him then...and remember i-" i cut him off knowing what he was going to say.

"You dont share...i know..." I whispered.

Negan smirked "smart girl..." He growled.

i walked down the hallway, leaving negan in the living room looking at the pictures on the wall.

Our bedroom door was cracked so i walked in, he was dead asleep. There was a pillow on my side on the bed, where i slept.

i quietly walked over to him and climbed on the bed, sitting beside him. "Merle..." I whispered shaking him.

He shot up and looked around, then focased on my face. "Sammy...what are you doing here sugar?" He groaned tiredly. "Negan brought me...i had a dream about you...i woke up saying your name..." I said, reaching up to touch his face. "What in the hell are you wearing girly?" He asked with a grin. "Negan gave them too me...come here..." I whispered as he sat up, I pulled him too me.

He held onto me tightly and kissed my cheek.

"i dont see any hickeys..." He said with a laugh. "I love you..." I said... Instead of replying he pulled me into a deep kiss...but it didnt feel the same...and that broke my heart.

"I hope he didnt see that..." I whispered.

"Hes here? In our fuckin house!" Merle said becoming angry. I nodded and merle got out of the bed and threw on clothes.

as we walked into the living room, both our hearts stopped as we looked at negan...

"well well...well...who is this precious little thing?"


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

My heart stopped, and i knew Merle's was about to beat out of his damn chest.

"Shes just too damn adorable!" Negan said with a wide grin as he stood there holding Tess. "You two make this?" he asked... I didn't know weather to lie or tell him the truth because either way I felt like it was going to end bad.

"S-shes ours.." I said.

"Well damn princess! I wish you would've told me! We would have already gotten to know each other... but that's okay, we can start now." He said playing with her short hair.

I could feel the tension and anger in Merle, knowing there was absolutely nothing i could do scared me...Tess was his world and he would give his life for her.

"What the hell are you talking about you crazy son of a bitch?! Put my kid down right fucking now!" Merle said taking a step closer to him. "Nope! Sorry Merle but that's not gonna happen. Princess you better keep him under control, you don't want to be punished do you?" He said in a calm but chilling voice.

The next thing I knew Merle had pulled out his pistol from the back of his pants and aimed it at Negan.

"No Mer-" I tried to catch myself but I couldn't, and I wanted to suck those words back in as soon as they left my mouth. It made Negan feel like he was above Merle, and I could tell because of the smirk he had on his face.

"Really Samantha! I should kill this mother fucker right fucking now and your telling me not to!" He screamed taking his eyes but not the gun off of Negan.

"Is there something you need to fucking tell me!"

Before it could register what had just happened, Negan had drew back striking Merle in the face, grabbing his gun.

"Don't...fucking...move..." Negan said slowly, his eyes and gun trained on Merle as he moved over to me handing me Tess. "You thought that was a good idea!? OUTSIDE! now!" Negan demanded, Merle snarled at him and followed his orders.

The sun was just beginning to rise when we walked out, merle upfront with a gun to the back of his head, negan behind it, and me holding tess behind him.

Rick walked up with a concerned look on his face, thats when tess began to cry out for merle.

"its okay baby...daddys gonna be okay.." i whispered trying to calm her down as negan slung lucille back and fourth. "alright! Rick why in the _high heavens_ do you have this prick living in your wonderful community?" negan asked with a grin.

i stepped up, knowing he wouldnt do anything with the baby in my arms. "negan please i-" he cut me off with a smile...a fake intimidating smile. "now dont you worry darlin...your big _billy fuckin badass_ is gonna be just fine! i cant kill him! that would be too easy!" he said putting the bat under merles chin... "no...im gonna break him...its more fun that way... dwight!" Negan yelled calling him.

"get the kid..." he said looking at tess and i as dwight walked toward us and grabbed her from me.

in a way i trusted negan...i knew nothing would happen to her, i could see merle trying to hold himself together and he was doing a damn good job at it.

"cmon... take me to his room... " negan said walking to the house.

i showed him mine and merles room and he walked in and looked around, grabbing a chair out of the corner "sit..." he demanded to merle, he did.

i stood beside negan not looking at either man "now...princess i dont belive mr Dixon here knows the _entire_ truth...why dont you tell him." negan said.

my heart raced... "what do you mean..." i whispered.

"tell him everything...not the bare fuckin minimum like you have been...hell the man needs to know it all! and i want details princess" he said looking at me visiously as i coward down to him.

"w-we had sex...and i dont even know how many times now...merle i-" negan cut me off "details!" he demanded.

"almost every night...in the shower, the couch, the bed...we sleep in the same bed at night... we kiss..." i began to weep.

"and what do you think about that?" negan asked me in a demanding tone.

i looked merle in the eyes and saw anger and dismay

"...i like it...im sorry merle..."

negan grinned "is that all you have to say to him?" he asked touching my shoulder. merle stood up angry and glared at us "how fucking dare you! were struggling out here and your living in high fuckin heavens screwing the enemy every fucking night! do you not think about your child! your fucking husband!" i took a deep breath getting angry the more he yelled at me. the few tears that ran down my face were gone and something else took over...it wasnt me...

"i care about him...and youre not my husband...i belong to negan..." i said calmly but taking long pauses in between. Merle began to raise his voice "you dont get to make that fucking choice! do you hear your self! you dont belong to anyone! not even me!...the the hell has he done to you?..." merle growled.

"i...belong...to negan.." i said turning and walking out of the room leaving the two men alone.

"well..." negan said with a laugh. "now that the air is cleared...how bout a drink!" negan licked his lips in satisfaction.

i walked outside sitting on the curb taking deep breaths...Rick and a few others walked up and looked at me. "were getting ready to leave...wheres tess?" i asked in a shaky voice. Rosita pointed to the RV and i gave her a confused look.

Negan stepped out and looked around... "imma need some more excitement around here so im going to pick one of my choosing to take with me!" he looked around and i saw all there faces drop into a scowl or cry...no one wanted to go back with him.

"that one! the blonde!" he yelled pointing out Layla with his bat. "might need a new wife..." i heard him mumble.

we got into the rv and tess was sitting there with Dwight, Layla and negan and i all sat at the table, girls on one side and him on the other. "lemme see that angel" he said grabbing tess and sitting her in his lap as we began to drive.

"so princess do you mind introducing me to this young lady?" negan said with a grin. "thats layla..." i said in a hushed voice. she looked over at me "how the hell do you know that!" she said in dismay. "...ive known you for years what are you talking about?" i said confused... "i have no idea whats going on...i dont know you or him..." i looked her in the eyes to see if she was joking but she wasnt, something wasnt connected in her brain. thats when i saw the almost healed scar on her head and put two and two together...she must have had some sort of brain damage...

no one really talked the way home, but when we got there merle gave Tess to Dwight and told him to take her to his "wives" until he could find a crib for her...i wanted to ask him about his wives but i didnt wanna upset him...

we walked back to his room and he flipped on the lamp so the room was very dim. "im very happy with you..." he said in a low sexy tone.

" _i belong to negan"_ he quoted me. "do you know how much that turns me on?!" he said with a wide grin. "i think you need to be rewarded for what you did today..." he walked closer to me, grabbing me by the hips, smashing his soft lips into mine.

we slowly moved toward the bed and he layed me down, taking off my shirt, he took one of my breast into his mouth.

he kissed my skin all the way down to my pants, i felt his strong hands undo my button and pull them off, i let out a shaky breath of pleasure.

his hot tongue ran over my inner thigh, just before kissing my entrance.

"n-negan fuck!" i moaned as his tongue worked wonders on me... just as i was about to reach my climax he looked up at me, from between my legs "god damn... youve been such a good girl for daddy..."

as i finally reached that sweet release, out of breath and biting my lower lip, negan crawled on top of me and kissed my cheek "ooh baby..." he growled in my ear, in the sexiest voice id ever heard "you taste so god damn sweet..."


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

"Let me ask you something..." Negan said from in the bathroom, it was just beginning to brighten up outside. "why did you get all...hmm whats the word for it... oh! _bitchy_ to Mr Dixon yesterday? i know damn well you were lying straight through your teeth princess" he said shaving around his neck.

"i wasn't lying... the part where i said i cared about you wasnt a lie, none of it was... they see you as a villain, i dont...im not saying your a good guy negan...your a survivor...just like all of us...let me ask you something?" i said in almost a question. "knock your self out" he said leaning on the sink looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"your... _"wives"_...what is-" he stopped me as he took a breath. "you wanna know about them? there my wives...not much to say about them. If i wanna fuck, if i wanna see titties, if i need a drink thats who i go to." My heart sunk a little bit...i did like negan...more than i wanted to admit, and knowing that he was with other women hurt...its not like i didnt know but i didnt wanna hear it from him...kind of like what you dont know wont hurt you i guess...

I didnt say anything i just sat there in silence as he finished in the bathroom, he walked out and sat on the bed next to me.

"you dont like that do you?" he said with a smirk. "Is somebody a little jealous?" said tilting his head so that he could look at me better.

i shook my head "im not...but what am I? I think i would know if i was one of your wives." i said in a hushed voice.

"and you are correct! you are not one of them...and you wont be." he said putting the conversation aside and trying to move on to something else. "why?..." i asked sitting up. Negan huffed loudly "that is none of your business" he said in a harsh tone.

"okay...im gonna go take a bath..." i whispered as i got up and walked into the bathroom, leaving Negan there with only his thoughts.

i turned on the water and before i could stop it a loud sob escaped my mouth, along with tears. i was tired... and at that moment i hated myself. I abondoned my family for a man that doesnt give a shit about me and honestly i cared way too much about him than i was comfortable with...

I was fighting a war with myself and i was so tired of it, my heart and my head were battling to the death...and honestly i couldnt tell which side i was on... my heart wanted merle...but it had a place for negan that was growing bigger by the day...and my head new it was the wrong thing but it was also telling me to just push it farther with him...and i wanted to so bad.

If i wanted to leave negan would let me...he wouldnt let me go home but i wouldnt have to be with him anymore...i had that option...but i didnt wanna take it.

at that moment i was letting my fears take over and the one thing i knew how to do came through. in the moment it seemed like the right thing to do and it had been so long...years... i dug around in the bathroom, my heart racing with fear as tears ran down my cheeks.

thats when i found it... a razor blade...it had been so long...

*flashback, these paragraphs are copied, word for word of the previous fanfiction this story is based off of, almost 4 years earlier*

i walked, all night.

I walked so much I thought my feet would fall off. I finally found myself in an old abandon parking lot of right aid. I was gonna keep going but I don't know where to, but I couldn't.

I fell to the ground crying, I didn't care who or what heard me. "G-god damn it!"

I looked up toward the sky, tears streaming down my face. "Why the fuck would you do this to me! Your supposed to be here and your not! Where the hell are you god!" I screamed falling down covering my face.

"I don't wanna be here!" I sat up and opened the bag pulling out a razor blade. "I-I can't take it anymore!" I struck the blade across my wrist over and over, hoping that it would take away the pain.

My arms dripped with my own blood onto the cement. It almost did nothing, I still felt the same.

I dug threw the bag and pulled out a bottle of pills. Not knowing what they were I dumped them into my hand and took them, immediately my head began to pound and I felt dizzy, but it still wasn't enough.

I reached in my bag once more to remove a loaded hand gun. I didn't think it would come down to this...ever. But I wanted to end it all, right here tonight...alone, that's how it was meant to be...

I looked at the gun 10 times over, shaking out of control. I took the gun off safety, with uneasy fingers. I then raised it to my head. This is it...

"Samantha! Put the fucking gun down!" I spun around to face Merle who was stepping out of the woods. "No! Just go away!" I screamed backing up. "Put it down now! Sam! If you don't ill-" I cut him off.

"You'll what!? Merle what will you do! I'm trying to take my own life! Just leave me alone! Go! Please! Why did you follow me!" I yelled. "Stop it! I love you! Your not leaving me damn it! I followed you because I love you! Now put it down!"

I shook my head and put my finger on the trigger "j-just go! Please!" I cried. Merle let out a nervous sigh "fine... If you do it I do it!" He said walking toward me pulling out his gun.

"Merle don't put this on me! Please! Don't do that! This is my choice! I don't want your blood on my hands!" Merle shook his head. "I won't be here with out you!" He took his gun off safety.

I wiped my eyes and blood smeared all over my face, Merle look at me then saw my arms and looked as if he were about to cry. "If you go I go..." He said. "But what about the baby!" I said

"you care about her Sam! And you know you do! You want her! N-now you don't have to do this!" He said.

I slowly lowered my gun, took it off safety and dropped it on the ground, I went with it.

Collapsing onto the ground crying Merle ran over and held me in his arms. "Y-you should have told me...you should ha-" Merle saw the empty bottle of pills "Sam! Throw them up! Now!" He pulled me up forcing me to stand, holding me so I couldnt get away from him. "I can't!" I screamed trying to get away from him. "Throw them up damnit!" He screamed grabbing my jaw forcing me to open my mouth. "Stop!" I screamed.

*present time*

"stop!" i screamed, tears running down my face.

i was sitting in the tub, full of hot water with the razor in my hand.

I looked up to meet negans conserned eyes, he had a grip on my arm that was holding the razor so tight it left a bruise.

"what the hell are you doing!" he screamed at me. I didnt say a word, sobs were the only sound that filled the air.

"y-your hurting me..." i said through the cries.

Thats when something changed...almost like someone had flipped a switch inside of him.

He loosened his grip on my wrist and looked my in the eyes. "can i have it..." he said quietly.

the razor fell to the floor, over the side of the tub, next to negan who was kneeling beside it.

he took a deep breath, and slid his hand from my wrist to my hand, gently taking it into his own. "what were you thinking..." he whispered confused. "i dont know...it was stupid.." he shook his head as he reached up to wipe a tear from my face "no really...what were you thinking?" this time it was a question...

"im just tired...of trying to do everything right for you and make you happy...but nothing is gonna make you care about me the way that i care about you...and you made that very clear out there...if im not one of them then what am i? im just a good fuck...thats all i-" he cut me off.

"your right...but not about that. your not one of them because i dont want you to be thrown around and treated like dog shit on my mother fuckin feet... yea...as much as i dont wanna say it... your not just a good fuck, if you were id make you one of them...your not like them...all of those women are whores and sluts..." he stopped to take a breath. "do you see me letting them near you? do they get to stay in my room? do i take them to see their families?... would i ever even consider sitting beside them while there crying in my bathtub, trying my mother fuckin best to make things seem okay?" he said squeezing my hand.

"hell no...its cuz i dont give a shit about them..."

Negan didnt have to say it because i knew what he was trying to say... he cared about me, he was never going to say it...but i knew thats what he ment...


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

That morning after Negan had talked to me, getting me out of my distraught phase, i got out of the tub and he got me clean clothes to put on. he was being extremely nice to me...it was nice but thats not what i wanted out of this. i wasnt looking for his attention and thats what i feel like he thinks.

I put on the clothes he gave me and looked in the mirror for what seemed like forever... i looked into what used to be stunning bright green eyes, but they were now tired and weak.

i scanned my face before i noticed Negan watching me from afar, almost like he was trying to figure me out or read my mind.

"you okay princess?" he asked once he had noticed that i had spotted him. I swallowed hard and nodded my head, he smiled at me with soft eyes.

"do you wanna go see your little girl?" he asked, clearly trying to make things better between the two of us.

we walked down a long hallway before entering a room, where for the first time i met a woman by the name of Sherry.. she had been taking care of tess.

"this adorable little one must belong to you.." sherry said handing me tess.

"what makes you think that?" i said with a small smile as tess grabbed at my hair.

"well i mean she looks just like you" the woman said. I let out a small chuckle as i looked down at my baby girl "if you think she looks like me, you should see her daddy..." i said with a laugh.

thats when i looked up at negan who had a slight scowl on his face.

"sherry lock the door on the way out? fuckin cant stand when people barge in..." he said sitting down on a chair in the corner of the room.

sherry knew that was her signal to leave, so she did as negan said and left.

tess was just at the age where she was beginning to talk.

"hey there baby..." i whispered to her, turning her around to face me.

"daddy..." he mumbled raising her hands to me. merle and tess had a very close relationship, wherever he was she was right behind.

i just pretended like i didnt hear her because i could feel negans stare on me.

tess got ancy and started to climb down, she landed on her feet and began to waddle over to negan.

"are you mad at me?" i whispered almost childlike.

"of course not... if i had a kid id do anything to keep them safe..." he said looking down at tess who was looking up at him.

he leaned down and picked her up, sitting her in his lap, bouncing his knee.

"she does look like you...whats her name?" he asked.

"its tess..." i said with a smile.

"howd you come up with that?" he asked looking up at me.

"well...long story short i got kidnapped when i was 8 months pregnant and i was there for a while, ended up having to have her while i was kidnapped... yep no lie." i said with a small laugh. "how in the holy hell did you manage to get out of that princess?" he grinned.

"its hard to remember... It was Rick, him and the group came and saved me... we went to the beach after that, only god knows why!" i laughed. Negan raised his eyebrows "you gotta be jokin!" he said. "nope! we lived on the beach for a while in tents, until i wanted to go back home to safe zone, which at the time was completely fucked...Im the leader of safe zone, or was...i have no fucking clue whos running that shit show now, but i can tell you there not doing as good of a job as i did." i said with a laugh, Negan was actually interested in what i was saying.

he was a reasonable man, he didnt hate us at safe zone, he didnt want us dead...

"so what happened after you got back?" he asked raising an eye brow...

"shit... okay so there was this girl, its so hard to remember her name now its been almost 4 years... it was Talia! ...you may not believe any of this but you can ask any of the people at safe zone i used to be really fucking badass..." i said with a grin.

"about that girl... shit went down in the tailgate of a truck on the way home and she started saying a bunch of stuff and threatening me and i was not about to have that kind of shit in my group so i got them to pullover and i hit her in the face and then i shot her...right there.." i said pointing between my eyes.

"really now?" he said with a smirk.

i nodded "im not proud of that but it happened... i did what i had to do, and when it comes down to me and my group that shit dont fucking fly..." i said just before realizing that, that is who i really was and negan had changed me to someone that was weak...

"woah now...i didnt know you had that in you princess..." he said with a scoff.

i nodded coming into more of a serious tone "yea...ive only had to do it twice...the first time i had been drinking and a girl at safezone started talking about my drinking problem...it got really bad and we ended up fighting, i broke the whiskey bottle and stabbed her..." i said almost proud.

neither of us spoke for a good bit, finally negan spoke up.

"im sorry about that night...when i smacked you..." he said not looking me in the eyes.

"dont be...its not that big of a deal, ive had worse..." i mumbled uncomfortably.

"by who?" he asked as he furrowed his brow.

i didnt say anything...it was something that i had pushed so far back into my mind that i almost forget that its there. "merle...he broke my arm...a year after she was born...we gotten into a fight and i ended up smacking him in the face and he grabbed my wrist and twisted so hard that it snapped..."

"yet you married him..." negan growled.

"it was years ago..." i was cut off by tess yawning.

"do we have to leave her in here..." i said quietly.

he shook his head and picked her up "no, i can put the crib in the guest room, if thats what you want..."

i smiled a soft smile and he returned it, walking over to me, lifting my chin with his hand. "i want my princess to be happy..." he said with a wink as he leaned down, planting a soft kiss on my lips before walking past me to leave to room...


	10. Chapter 10

*Authors note: Hey guys! I know i have slacked off a lot with writing new chapters but im back now. I just wanted to explain the flashback and all of the safe zone references that have been made through out the story for those of you that dont know about it. Safe Zone is an old fanfiction that was posted on my michael rooker fanpage on instagram holy_rooker. It basically took place where i used to live, Merle and Sam have to go through a lot in that story. Eventually after many chapters i got very bored with the plot, but it was one of the best stories i had ever written so i decided to write the sequel which is this story. So any flashbacks in this story are actually copied from the original fanfiction, maybe some of them will intrigue some of you enough to where you want to go check out the story its self! Any ways, thanks for reading and this chapter is hopefully going to be a good one! please review and let me know what you think!

-Greeneyes*

 **CHAPTER 10**

"I dont know how to put this thing together! you should know youre the man!" I bursted out in laughter as Negan tried to put the crib together but failed miserably. Negan let out a chuckle as he shook his head "woman shut your trap and get over here and help me out!" he said grinning at me. "what makes you think i know how to do it mister!" i said sipping on my wine, Negan had poured for us.

"im sure youve done it before, hell baby! youve killed people but you can help a man put a damn crib together?" he said turning quickly to look at me, but spilling his wine completely out of the glass. he let out a laugh "see there! look at what you made me do" he said smiling. "let me go get a rag to clean this shit up" he said with a smirk as he began to walk to the bathroom.

i watched him...for once i felt somewhat happy.

that was before i realized what he was doing... he turned around, winding the rag up with a grin spread across his face. "i think youll wanna help me next time princess!" he said just as he lunged at me, whipping the rag at my legs. I let out a squeal as i ran from him laughing.

"where you going! come back here!" he said winding it up again.

"no!" i said as i took off in a sprint, just before slipping face first on the wine that was spilled on the floor.

"oh shit! are you okay?" Negan dropped the towel and ran over to me as i started to lift my self up.

he knelt down beside me as i turned around, leaning on my elbows. "are you hurt?" he asked scanning my body.

I shook my head and busted into laughter, so did he.

His soft eyes caught mine and it felt like my heart skipped a beat...he wrapped his strong arms around my waist and pulled me into a kiss, i threw my arms around his neck as he picked me up, wrapping my legs around him.

He kissed me...differently than before, it wasnt full of lust this time...i felt something...

I smiled through our kiss and he felt it, and pulled back just enough to look into my eyes. "why are you smiling?" he whispered softly.

"this is nice..." i replied, cupping his jaw in my hand.

neither of us spoke for what seemed like forever, it was amazing... I surrendered to him as he rested his forehead on mine.

"youre so beautiful..." he spoke quietly.

"daddy..." my heart stopped as i heard Tess's tiny voice come from behind us.

i turn my head around, Negan still holding me...i felt something sick in my stomach looking at who was standing in the door way...

It was merle, he was holding a bag on one arm and had tess in the other.

Negan put me down and crossed his arms "what the shit..." he mumbled confused. "who the hell let you in?" Negan asked, calmer than i expected him to be. "One of yer men." Merle scowled.

"lemme jus tell you somthin sugar... ya aint nothin but a lyin whore!" he yelled slamming the bag to the ground "thats _our_ kids stuff! and i aint about to let that bastard just come up in her life! not while yall two are in here puttin up a damn crib together like fuckin parents! did you happen to forget what the fuck he did!? He killed our men! Took you from yer own god damn family! had his way with you! and made you his fucking slave!" merle yelled causing me to flinch, i heard negan huff behind me.

"but god for-fuckin-bid me pull a gun on him! i wish you would open yer god damn eyes!" he said putting Tess down.

"im gonna kill you ya sorry fuckin prick!"Merle said as Negan stepped up and smirked "oh really? and just how do you think your gonna do that?" he raised an eyebrow...

"you know Mr. Dixon... i used to have respect for you as a man...not anymore, not after what i heard you did.." Negan knew just what buttons to press and what cards to play because he was hitting it right on the nail.

"go ahead and tell me what the fuck ya heard because im damn well sure miss " _this is nice"_ told you fuckin all of it!" Merle said.

"you know...last time i checked Merle...it isnt really nice to break your wife's- excuse me, i mean _ex-_ wife's arm..." Negan growled.

my heart stopped as merle lunged toward him, he swung at him, Negan took a hard blow to the face.

before i could do anything the two men were on the ground swinging at each other and Tess was crying.

i didnt know what to do its like my head was spinning out of control, i ran over to tess and tried to console her... i didnt want to jump in the middle so i tried to let it play out until i saw blood.

thats when i jumped up, grabbing merle from behind trying to pull him away "get the hell off me!" he shoved me away causing me to fall to the ground.

merle grabbed negan by the throat and threw him against the wall, blood pouring from each of their noses.

negan reached up and punched merle in the side of the head, causing him to let go of his neck. Merle stumbled back, thats when i noticed Negans gun laying on the table in the corner of the room. just as merle was about to throw another swing i pressed the barrel of the gun to the back of his head. "dont fucking move..." i said harshly as negan watched from infront of merle.

"you gotta be fuckin kiddin me..." merle growled as he raised his hands. "shut up!" i yelled. I heard merle take a deep breath as he turned around. "imma let myself out...but just remember who took care of you...who stood by you with every decision you made!" merle stormed passed me and leaned down to kiss Tess on the cheek "daddy loves you baby girl...Maggie had her baby, your gonna get to come visit him real soon okay." he whispered. "love too..." she tried to say kissing him back like they always did.

he stood up and walked to the door way "but i aint standing by you on this sam..." he slammed the door and walked out...

merle was right, he had always supported everything i had ever done...weather it was stupid or not he was always by my side.

*flashback*

I came home late that night...Kaitlin looking at me weird, austin to. Neither of them spoke to me...

I walked into my room to find Merle sitting on the bed with something in his hand...I looked around to see the room had been cleaned up.

My heart stopped as I saw the look on his face "is there something you need to tell me?" Merle asked standing up walking over toward me. My breathing began to get heavy with every step he took. "Huh?" He said stopping directly in front of me.

I stood there a minute fighting back tears. Merle held out his hand, there he held the abortion pill bottle.

"What is this Samantha!?" He yelled causing me to flinch. Tears streamed down my cheeks "I'm sorry! I know I should have told you but-" he cut me off throwing the bottle down "you went and told my brother but not me!? You sent my brother to get pills instead of coming to me! Do you honestly think I'd make you have a baby you don't want!? I can't believe y-" I cut him off "I threw them up! I did ok! As soon as I took them I threw them up! That's why there was such a mess! I threw them up!" I was barely audible over my sobbing.

Merle swallowed hard...he stood there a minute glaring at me "why didn't you tell me?" I looked down "I don't know, I was scared..." I said.

"Sugar...you know ya ain't gotta be scared of me...I ain't mad..jus disappointed. That's my kid too, I should have a choice." Merle said pulling me into him.

I sobbed into his chest as he held me close to him. "Now look at me...do you want this kid?" He asked. I stood there a minute then looked down wiping a tear from my eyes, I nodded my head. "I'm just so scared..." I cried. "It's gonna be ok...I promise..." He whispered rocking me back and fourth.

*present time*

"well princess... that was unexpected..." Negan chuckled as i turned around to hand him his gun, his nose was dripping blood and he had a pretty rough gash just above his brow. "hell if i didnt believe you before i sure as hell do now!" i shrugged "i dont like having to do that... but i guess it isnt too bad when you havnt done it in so long..." i looked at him as he held his nose. "come on... i know how to give stitches..." i said. Negan shook his head "no...im fine." he said. "Negan...just let me..." i said in a quiet voice. "fine..." he mumbled following me into the bathroom.

"now this is gonna hurt like hell..." i said just as i stuck the needle threw the wound on his head. i could see him biting the inside of his cheek, but that was it...he wasnt a weak man...either that or he just didnt want me to see it..

there was blood all other the both of us by the time i was done stitching up his wound.

just as i finished i heard the pitter patter of little bare feet walking into the door way of the bathroom. i looked up to see tess standing there with a concerned look on her face "momma?" she whispered getting both of our attention "yea babe?" i said turning to focus on her. "is Neeg okay?" i couldnt help but laugh at her adorable attepmt to say Negans name, appearantly he thought the same thing because i looked up to catch him smiling. "yes baby Negans okay..." i said as i went back to cleaning and dressing his wound.

"daddy hurt Neeg..." i was shocked at her knowledge of what had happened... then i realized i had been away from her so long that she was alot smarter than she was before, she could talk and understand things alot better than before... and spending more time with merle surly taught her alot... merle may not make the best decisions but hes a smart man.

i stopped what i was doing and knelt down in front of her "no baby...Negan is okay...they were both just angry" Tess nodded and walked over to Negan raising her arms to him. he picked her up and sat her on his lap, as he sat on the side of the tub. "im gonna go put this stuff away and get a clean towel for you okay.." i said walking out of the room.

i walked to the guest room bathroom and grabbed a fresh towel and walked out. just as i was about to walk back to the bathroom i heard the two of them talking so i stopped to listen.

"Neeg?" she said, her voice full of curiosity. "whats up honey?" he said in a sweet gentle tone. "do momma love you, not daddy?" she asked... i bit my lip, afraid of his response... Negan had no filter.

"hmm..." i heard him say "i dunno Tess...but ill be sure to ask her and ill let you know.." he said. "speaking of her...why dont you go find her, shes taking an awful long time..."

i sped up and walked into the bathroom, just as Tess was crawling off his lap. "what about me?" i asked with a fake smile, pretending like i didnt know. "oh nothing... thats out little secret" he grinned and winked at tess.

that night after we put Tess to bed Negan layed down beside me. "you know...ive been thinking about how you told me you used to be the leader back at your place..." he said looking up at the ceiling "well if were being honest i think that after the way they treated you... you know when they just let me take you, no one tried to do anything...i feel as if they need to be put back in their place..." i looked over at him confused "what do you mean?" i asked. "i think that it would be fun if we paid them all a visit...and you take over that shit show...let them know whos fuckin boss..." i shrugged. "i was never that kind of leader...we were all independent and i was just there to make the big decisions..." i said, Negan shook his head "thats why that place went to hell in a hand basket...if you want things done right, if you wanna _run_ that place you gotta demand it... and after what they did to you, it seems very fuckin clear to me they never gave a shit about you or your leadership..." he said shrugging. "but thats just me...you do what you want to princess but i see some real potential in you... just think about it...you started that place and ill be damned if it aint fuckin nice as shit! but then after a while your _authority_ flew right out the window...and somethin about that just doesnt sit well with me..." he said.

"maybe your right...i know i could do it...but i dont know how...if that makes sence" i said looking at him. "you walk in that bitch and make it yours... ill let you sleep on that and you can make your decision in the morning..."


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

I slept amazing that night...and i dont know why...not after the day i had...

i woke up early the next morning to something i wasnt used to, Negan close to me, he was facing me with an arm thrown over me. i felt his warm breath hit my cheek as i buried my head in the curve of his neck, thats when i felt him tighten his arm around me. "i find it funny how you think im a heavy sleeper..." he mumbled in a deep, tired but sexy voice. i quickly pulled away from him but to my surprise he pulled me back "dont do that..." he whispered pulling me into his warm body as he kissed my cheek, i felt his hand slide into my shorts as i wrapped my leg around him.

"shhh..." he hissed, i was trying hard not to moan as he massaged my clit. "baby girl..." he said in a low voice as he propped himself up by one arm so that he was leaning over me looking down at me "you gotta stay quiet for daddy..." he said, only arousing me more. he leaned down and kissed me, biting my bottom lip and pulling it. when he let go i couldnt help my self as i let out a moan of pleasure. "tell me what you want baby..." he growled as he ran the tip of his tongue over my bottom lip. "f-fuck me daddy..." i said with a shaky voice.

a couple hours later after Negan and i layed in bed for a good while i heard tess from the other room.

"momma?" she raised her tiny voice, i sat up to get out of the bed and put my clothes on but Negan stopped me "sit back down...i got her.." Negan walked into the guest room as he stretched. "mornin little one..." i heard him mumble. "Neeg...im hungy" He picked her up out of her crib and carried her on his hip back into him room. "momma" she said with a smile. "good morning baby..." i said just as i finished getting dressed. "we gonna see Miss Mags baby?" Tess asked as she yawned an layed her head on negans shoulder. i smirked and turned around to look at her

"...yea...i think we just might do that..." i said as i glanced up at Negan who was reading me like a book, he nodded with a smirk as he sat Tess down. "well... lets get ready then!" he said with a chuckle.

The whole way there i kept catching Negan glancing at me from the corner of his eye as he drove. "you nervous?" he mumbled. I nodded as i took a deep shaky breath "dont be...you just do whatever the fuck you gotta do to make them afraid... anything..." i saw him lick his lips as he focused on the road. "here..." i looked over at him as he held out lucille to me "you can carry her...it will help..." he said as we pulled up to the gates.

I took a deep breath as i stepped out of the car. "i got little one..." he said walking around the car to grab Tess. he carried her on his hip as we walked up to the gate.

"watch this...there gonna shit there pants when they open these gates...' he whispered as he shook the bars "little pig...little pig! let me in!" he said, and as he said they did.

i threw lucille over my shoulder and walked in Negan slowly following behind me with Tess in his side.

(merles POV)

i just happened to be walking across the street with my brother when i heard the gates open and about had a damn heart attack at what i saw...

in walked Sam, the biggest scowl on her face, coming in here like she was the fucking shit...and she had that damn bat over her shoulder.

"you seein this shit brother...fuckin gotta be shittin me..." i growled looking over at daryl. "shit man...and look whos followin her..." Daryl said tilting his head.

"that mother fucker!" i said as i began walking toward the two of them. that bastard was holdin my mother fuckin kid!

"what the hell are you do-" i went to say something but she cut me off, removing the bat from her shoulder and swinging it in front of her. "First off!" she shouted at me with a smirk...she sounded so much like that son of a bitch i swear to god it was like he was living inside her telling her exactly what to say. "you are _not_ going to talk to me like that! And i think that if you wanna keep your badass reputation then i suggest dont fuckin doing that shit again!" she said with a smirk. "so...who the fuck is running this place now? Who is you _wonderful noble_ leader?" she asked sarcastically...

i had only seen her act like this one other time...and i didnt even see it, i heard about it from my brother...

*flashback, sams POV)

"Kaitlin were going back to the safe zone! Are yo-" at the time we were living on the beach... she didn't even let me get the words out "hell yea! I hate this place." She said. "Well get your shit!"

We walked out and started taking down our tent. "What's going on?" Said rick. "Were leavin..." Said Merle. "What? You guys can't leave! You have a baby!" Taliya snarled "yea? And you have a life! Stay in yours not mine!" I said as we finished.

"We'll then we all go!" Said Hershel. "No! Id rather not all of us!" Merle glared at taliya. "Shut the fuck up Merle! Yo-" I ran at her gettin in her face "bitch say one more god damn word! Come on! Fuckin try me bitch! I'm waiting!" I yelled, as soon as I did I was jerked back by rick

"Who ever wants to go can go! Show of hands?" He said. Me, merle, Kaitlin immediately raised ours. Austin's saw Kaitlin's and raised his even though they were still fighting. Taliya raised hers smirking at me, and then Hershel... We looked around...everyone had their hand raised.

After about an hour and a half we all piled into the truck. Merle, Tess, Hershel and Rick were all inside the truck. Me, Kaitlin, austin,. Daryl, and unfortunately taliya were in the back with guns. "So what the hell you always wearing merles big ass jacket for?" Taliya said, it was the middle of spring and it was too warm to be wearing a jacket...but it was only days after my suicide attempt

"What the hell you always runnin your big ass mouth for?" Sadly that didn't shut her up "Who named the baby?" She asked.

"I did..." I said not looking at her. "Didn't even let Merle have a say in it?" She said.

"Last time I checked I was being held hostage when I had her so..." She smirked. "What's so funny?" I said.

"sam... just stop." Kaitlin said. "Why the fuck are y'all always telling me to stop! im gonna say whatever the fuck i wanna say and no one is gonna give me any shit about it! She's the one all up in my business! Now what's so damn funny!" I said.

"Just the fact that I was with Merle for months and not once did he ask about you or that baby!" She said grinning. "Dont make me do this shit today...i dont feel like doing this shit...Your a fuckin liar... Shut the hell up! and if you dont... your gonna regret it..." I said.

Daryl shook his head and huffed angrily "sam you know he cared! And taliya why the fuck are you sayin shit like that? Like what are you getting out of it!"

She laughed. "Other things happened to while you were... Away..." She said.

"You think I chose that? I chose to leave him with you? A fuckin slut! I'm surprised you werent all over him like you are with literally anything that fucking breaths!" I said. "Just stop! This isn't solving anything!" Austin yelled.

"Me all over him! No no no! You s got it all wrong!" She said.

My hand slid down to my side. Kaitlin grabbed my wrist as soon as my hand made contact with my gun. "The hell are you sayin? if you have something you feel like needs to be fucking said then get to the damn point because i am tired of waiting around to fuckin hear it..." I said.

She wouldn't answer me. Kaitlin let go as my grip loosened. "Answer me when im fucking talking to you!" I yelled.

She grinned "all I'm sayin is Merle was the one all over me! Didn't give two shits about you!"

Then before Kaitlin or anyone could do anything my hand went up, flipping the safety off my gun "I told you bitch! i did _not_ feel like doing this shit...but now... im gonna have to fuck you up! See where lying gets you!" I yelled.

Austin began to bang on the window for rick to stop the truck. "Stop! Rick!" He yelled beating on the window.

The truck slammed on brakes, my gun aimed right between her eyes. "Get the fuck out!" I yelled climbing out of the back.

"Now!" I said motioning the gun for her to move. "Just put it down! You know what she said ain't true!" Yelled Daryl.

Hershel got out "woah! What is going on!" He yelled. "sam! I swear it wasn't me! He was all over me! Please don't shoot!" Taliya said putting up her hands.

"What!" Merle got out and saw me aiming at her.

"Oh fuck...baby no!" He yelled.

"Your fuckin lying! He wouldn't do that! We have a child!" I yelled

"Well he did!" I lowered my gun long enough to punch her in the jaw.

"That's for bringing my family into this!" Merle tried to grab me. "Stop! get your fucking hands off me!" He let go remembering I had a gun in my hand.

I grabbed her by her throat and slammed her against the truck making her gag "that's for saying you wanna choke me..." i chuckled. "tell me...hows that end treating you?"

I pushed harder, she gasped for air and clawed at my hands. "Stop it!" Yelled rick pulling out his gun.

"Wanna choke me now bitch?" I started screaming at her, I wasn't letting go. I blacked out. I wasn't thinking and I couldn't control myself.

Everyone was screaming and trying to get me off. I even turned my gun on Daryl once.

"You still wanna choke me? Huh?" She turned blue.

I let go. "Y-yea..." She said. She was looking down the barrel of my gun as my finger touched the trigger.

"Sam!" Someone yelled pulling my arm back, causing me to shoot the truck right beside her head.

"and this...is because i just feel like it needs to be done." The the chilling sound of the gun rang into my ear. Filling my surroundings with the sound of death. Everything was in slow motion.

I was knocked to my knees by rick and shoved against the truck. The last thing I heard was someone saying "leave her!" Then I blacked out.

*present time*

"so...who the fuck is running this place now? Who is you _wonderful noble_ leader?" i said sarcastically. Merle raised an eyebrow "your lookin at him sweetheart..."

I smirked and through the bat over my shoulder laughing... Merle just glared at me. "no seriously? who is it?" i said scanning the area.

He still didnt say anything "wait...your not joking?..." i laughed "well then...whos _bright_ idea was that?" i said not expecting an answer. "Merle baby..." i smirked and reached up to stroke his cheek "it seems to me like your not doing the best of work here..."

He was caught in my eyes...that was the trick, i knew that man like the back of my hand.

thats when i snapped my hand down to his belt and snatched the gun that was in his pants "i dont think youll be needing that anymore..." i spun around on my heels and walked towards negan who was watching my every move "take this..." i whispered handing it to him. "you got it princess..." he said glancing over my shoulder at merle, taunting him.

i turned back around "now...i think we all remember how things used to be...when i actually was the leader here...that was fuckin baby shit!" i said looking at the group. "well...most of you remember...the ones that are still alive of course...anyways!" i smiled at them "things are going to be different now...you do what i say whenever the fuck i say it...and if anyone objects then-" i stopped looking around taking a breath "well i will just have to deal with that then... now i know things might have been going pretty easy on you with good ole merle over here... i hate to break it to you, but if you wanna survive your going by my word now! are we clear!" i yelled looking around at them.

"im sorry honey but you need to get off your high horse and suck my ass because that isnt happening!" i looked over at Abraham who began walking up to me.

"i dont think you heard what i just...fucking...said." i furrowed my brows and walked closer to him. "you arnt going to do anything...your a coward." he said.

laughter rose in my throat as i spun around quickly... "you all heard that right?... i dont think abe here knows me all that well..."

i knew these people, and i could read them all like a book...i knew what buttons to press, i knew exactly how to get under their skin...

"now abraham..." i turned back around to look at him "im not gonna do anything to you...because your just getting used to things...you just dont understand..." i paced back and fourth, everyone was watching.

"see...i told you that you wouldnt do anything.." he mumbled.

i stopped dead in my tracks, my back to him.

"i said i wouldnt do anything to _you._ "

I looked at Negan who was standing behind merle.

"never mentioned anyone else!" i yelled as i quickly spun around lifting lucille off my shoulder and bringing the barbed wire bat down forcefully on Rosita's head, blood flying up in my face as she fell to the ground with a loud thunp.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

WHACK!

"what the hell!" screams and cries rang out through the air "Jesus Christ!"

WHACK!

"Samantha! stop it!" it was merles voice, in panic.

WHACK!

I took a deep breath, panting from all the work I had just done...this was going to be with me for the rest of my life...

"thats my girl!" shouted Negan who walked up beside Merle.

"I taught her well didnt I Mr. Dixon?" Negan laughed and patted Merle on the back.

"you didnt teach her shit...she was already like that... it just took some kind of fucked up person like yerself to bring it out!"

No one uttered a word for what seemed like forever...

"somebody clean this shit up.." I mumbled as I turned around walking toward Negan handing him the bloody bat.

"damn princess... it was meant for more of an effect but I mean whatever floats your boat..." Negan chuckled.

"Daryl... were gonna stay with you until I get my house back..." I said glancing at Merle.

"I'm going back to get some shit... I trust that you will obey my rules..." Negan grabbed my arm, making me look at him.

That evening no one said a word to me... I was alone and for once I didnt mind it...

I was at Daryl's house sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of whiskey I had found in the fridge...it had been so long since I had drank whiskey...at my own will.

the front door opened and in walked Merles brother...

"what are ya doin..." he mumbled walking in and standing in front of me.

"what does it look like?" I said not looking at him.

"thought you stopped..." he said pouring himself a shot.

"thought I stopped a lot of things..." I mumbled taking a sip from the bottle.

"like what happened today?" daryl said pulling out the chair and sitting down. "i dont wanna hear it." i said blankly and to the point. "look...im not mad at you...i aint here to give you my opinion on it... im worried though." he said not looking at me.

"im sure you are..." i rubbed my head. "now i dunno whats happened with the two of you, if you love him or what and frankly thats none of my buisness... im just here to tell you that people dont just change like that...i know you had that in you i never once questioned it... im jus...sorry i guess.." he said glancing up at me.

"about what?" i asked. "whatever is going on in your head...whatever he has done... i know yer drinkin again, and thats cuz of him...i just wish i knew what hes been tellin you.." my heart began to race "you wanna know! hes told me the truth! yall just abandond me! left me at the hands of him and didnt once come help because yall were too damn worried about yourselves! maybe if i would have started what i did today a long time ago none of this shit would have happened!..." daryl looked at me "and what about merle...he told me what happened, what he saw...dont act like Negan treats you like shit..." he growl "ill have you know that the first night there he pinned me on his bed and i told him no! but you know what i did! i let him do whatever the hell he wanted because i wanted to keep _yall_ safe! i didnt want that! and he did it with no second thoughts!" my voice cracked a little as i bit my tongue to hold back. "i-i need Merle...i just murdered her...because Negan said that was what needed to be done...that was how a leader does things..." a single tear rolled down my face. "what?" Daryl said. "i killed her!" i said slamming my hand on the table. "not that...what you said before that?" daryl said in almost a question.

i took a breath and layed my head on the table "i need him...merle..." i whispered as more tears fell...

"then go...Negan aint gonna be here till tomorrow...if theres any problems you know where im at..." he said getting up and leaving the room.

i knocked on the door to my old house and seconds later merle opened in.

once he saw who was standing there he slammed it, catching my foot in the door way.

"please dont.." i winced.

"what the hell are ya doin? get the fuck out of my sight!" merle took a breath. "merle just listen-" he shook his head. "yer breakin his rules arnt you?" merle asked sarcastically. "just let me in please!" thats when the tears came, i looked down not wanting to look at him. "p-please..." i whispered.

i heard him huff and open the door, allowing me in.

we walked into what used to be my old home...nothing felt the same. it was almost like i could see the moments that happened here replay themselves in my head...

merle didnt say a word, he sat down at the kitchen table and propped his head up with his arm.. "i wanna come home..." i whimpered. "ya are home..." he mumbled not looking at me, i shook my head.

"i wish i could change things back to the way they were and knowing that i cant really hurts... im sorry." i said as tears streamed down my face. "are you?" he asked quietly glancing up at me.

before i could stop myself i walked over to him and fell into his arms weeping. "i need you..." i was finally breaking. "i already knew that...dont cry darlin..." he whispered pulling me in his lap, i buried my face in his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me. "but i also know where your gonna be when he gets back...not here..." he said stroking my hair.

"i-i dont wanna do this anymore...i killed her!" i began to sob. "shhh...what have i always told you darlin...everything is gonna be okay..." he said pulling me to him.

"i want you home...with me..." he whispered. "your gonna be okay... Negan is a reasonable man... i talked to him before he left..." i looked up afraid. "he told me bout what ya was gon do the other day... told me he couldnt figure you out..." merle took a breath "i told em next time that happens to bring you home...told him that ya aint gotta stay, but i needed to be with you..." i panicked. "he agreed..." merle said looking into my eyes. "ya know...ya got me good today darlin...you sure know what the hell yer doin ill give you that..." i raised my head and looked at him. "what do you mean?" i said wioing my tears away.

"the eye thing..." merle nodded. "gets me every time..." he lifted my chin to look into my eyes, just before leaning in to kiss me... i hesitated but then surrendered to him as he had his hand around the back of my neck.

"merle i-" he cut my off with a whisper, his eyes closed. "shh...dont talk...just let me have this..."

My lip quivered as he spoke, I yearned for him, and not just to feel him inside of me...but to feel him as a whole. I wanted to taste him...i wanted his name burned into my skin for days...i needed to feel him..

his soft lips caressed my own as he picked me up by my hips, sitting me on the table.

he kissed me with a passion that made my core tingle.

He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine, looking into my eyes. "You're mine..." he whispered just before pressing his lips to mine again, they parted and his tongue ran across my bottom lip.

i pressed myself against him, as he ran his hands down my waist. "wheres yer ring?" he murmured softly, his lips still touching mine.

"my pocket.." i sighed as i felt him tighted his arms around me, i raised mine and wrapped them around his neck.

he continued to caress my lips with his own as he picked me up, carrying me to our bedroom.

when we entered he brought me to the bed and layed me down on my back, kissing and sucking at my neck and jaw. I felt his hand move down to my front pocket and fished out the wedding ring.

his lips slowly moved from my neck to my shoulder as he slid down my tank top and bra strap, lightly with the tip of his fingers.

he kissed my shoulder all the way down to my hand, just as he reached my finger tips he slid the ring on.

his lips found their way back up to mine, his tongue exploring my mouth again.

i let out a shaky breath as he gently bit down on my bottom lip, pulling it lightly and letting go.

"have you been drinking?" he asked just as his hand slid up my shirt. i nodded, not wanting to lie to him. "are you okay with this?" he asked looking me in the eye. "weve been married four years...you dont have to ask that.." i said as his hand fondled my breast. "yes i do..." he mumbled as he kissed my stomach.

And for the first time in a very long time Merle and I made love...


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13That night I stayed with merle for a while talking about old memories... we both knew I couldn't stay... Negan would be back soon.

he walked me down to Daryls house, once we got there he stopped, taking me in. "I know how things have to be... But do you remember when you were still a teenager and we snuck around?" He said with somewhat of a smile "because rick would have killed me..." he said rubbing his eyes "are you saying we should start seeing each other?...i don't know how id get that past him..." I said looking down.

merle grinned "honey...back then we could get it past anyone, I think we can do it now..." merle pulled me into him, just as the front door swung open.

"yea...until ya get caught..." I looked up to see Daryl standing by the door, lighting a cigarette.

"you know the old routine girl...just go with that okay?" merle kissed me and turned around to walk home. "night brotha..." he shouted at daryl.

The next morning i woke up to Negan sitting down on the side of the bed. "Act normal...nothing has changed..." I continued to tell myself, as he scanned me up and down.

"how are you feeling?" He asked raising an eyebrow. "you look sick..." I shook my head and rubbed my eyes "hungover..." I mumbled getting out of bed.

"So someone did a little bit of partying last night then?" He asked with a smirk, walking over to me.

"you could call it that..." I said with a small laugh.

"Come here princess... I missed ya.." he growled pulling me into a kiss, that led to a hug.

that's when my stomach rose to my throat! my arms were wrapped around his neck, and I looked at my hands.

The ring!

fuck! I began to panic as Negan pulled away.

I threw my hand in my back pocket and looked at him, my heart pounding "what the hell is wrong with you?" He asked furrowing his brows.

I shrugged as I leaned up to kiss him again "I just missed you..." i said with a smile

I bet you did sweet girl...how about after I go see rick ill make it up to you..okay?" He said tucking my hair behind my ear.

as soon as he left the room I jerked the ring off, tucking it into my pocket.

I took a long breath and sat down on the bed, almost shaking...i didn't know what Negan would do if he found out and I'd rather not try and find out...

I got up and threw on my clothes...the plan was to tell Negan I was going out to scout for a bit and then i would meet up with merle...

it almost felt as if I were a teenager again...exept this time it was more terrifying...instead of some sort of repercussion from rick or Hershel it could be death...

my fate, along with everyone else's was in the palm of Negans hand...and I was risking all of it.

I walked out of my room and saw daryl dark in the living room cleaning a gun...

he glanced up at me and put the gun away "tell yer man about this I'll-...just don't say anything ight?" He asked rubbing his head. "Don't cross me and i wont have too...wheres your brother?" I asked walking across the small living room.

"looking for Negan...trying to get his kid back..." daryl mumbled. "OUR kid back..." I walked into the kitchen and out the front door, running into rick on his way in.

he began to step past me and I put my arm out stopping him. "are we even gonna talk about what happened?" I demanded.

"there's nothing to talk about...you killed one of your own...is That what he's teaching you now?" Rick said in a deep voice.

"you just have to trust him..." I said looking rick in the eye.

"trust him?...is That what you Do? you trust that bastard!" Rick said becoming angry.

"Yes I trust him! I've been with him for months! did you happen to forget leaving me with him! Do you think I just volunteered to go! No! But when you spend a long time with someone you-" rick cut me of in a loud tone.

"spending time!? you meaning having relations- fucking! every day right!? not spending time! You knew what you were doing Sam! And are you gonna bring that up everytime his name comes up? what is it with him! go ahead and tell me why the hell your so infatuated with hi-"

something inside of me snapped and I pushed him out of my face.

"because I love him! I'm fucking sorry you can't understand that but I Do! So get off my mother fucking case and mind your own fucking business or ill-" before i was going on, I was jerked back out of rocks face by a stong arm.

"get the fuck off me! I swear-" I was spun around an came face to face with Negan. "what was that?! wanna repeat that for me!" He said grabbing my jaw forcing me to look at him. "No sir..." I said talking a deep breath.

I glanced behind him to see merle standing there with his arms crossed.

"im gonna need you to calm down...

where are you headed? He asked letting me go. "I was gonna go out and scavenge a bit...if that's okay.." I reached up and brushed his cheek.

"that's fine...be back soon...we need to talk." he said walking in the house.

i glanced up at merle who followed him and gave him the signal to meet me outside the gate.

I began to walk off but before I got far Negan shouted my name, calling me back.

"take this...be careful with her...and don't get hurt, I need you tonight." he said with a wink as he handed me Lucille.

"thank you..." I said pulling him into a deep kiss, his tounge slid in my mouth... "lemme just get you now..." he growled. "is that what you want..." he bit my lip, slamming his waist into mine, I could feel him. "you tell me..." my tongue ran across my bottom lip, as he suddenly slipped his hand in my pants, letting one finger rub my, now wet clit. I took a deep long breath as his fingers worked magic. "I want it daddy..." i whispered nibbling on his earlobe. "I know you do..." he growled grabbing my hand and pulling me inside.

he drug me to the bedroom and slammed me down on the bed, pulling off my pants. kissing my thigh softly as he quickly ran his tongue over my clit causing me to grip the bed sheets.

"dont move.." he stood up and walked over to his bag, pulling out a roll of small black rope.

he slowly moved toward me, straddling me. I writhed beneath him begging for pleasure.

he grabbed my hands and jerked them above my head, tying the rope around my wrist, he tied me to the metal head board.

I could feel his hard length as he moved his hips slowly against mine.

"I want you to beg daddy..." he said biting my neck.

"Don't stop..." I whispered as his hand moved down, he slipped a finger inside me causing me to moan

"p-please daddy..." I said in a shaky voice as he pumped his finger in and out.

he quickly slid in another, making me pull on the ropes. "I want it Negan...i want you...please!" i let out a loud moan.

"Hang on baby..." he said undoing his pants, sliding them off.

"fuck...i want it hard..." I whispered just before I felt him push his head into me with force. "your so tight... I love it..." he said as he pushed himself into me, thrusting hard.

"i love you..." I moaned loudly as I jerked on the restraints. "shhh..." he growled putting my shirt in my mouth as he grabbed on of my breast.

I wrapped my legs around his waist as he fucked me.

"come on baby...you can do it..." he moaned, pushing on my wrist to keep my from trying to get free of the rope.

I tired so hard to hold in the loud moan that was rising in my throat.

"Yea... come on little girl..." he looked down at me, thrusting harder.

"oh! don't stop! N-negan!" I moaned loudly.

I finaly reached my climax, Negan did soon after.

he collapsed on top of me, trying to catch his breath as he untied the rope.

"now...tell me...why did you say that..." he said slowly.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 15

I layed there for a minute thinking about what he had just asked me.

"say what?" i whispered softly looking over at him.

"you said you...you loved me...now i think we both know that isnt true." he said with a smirk.

"...i didnt say that." i said as i shook my head. "its okay if you did, plenty of women love me.." he said with a scof.

I furrowed my brows "thats where youre taking it? whatever negan..." i said getting out of the bed and throwing on clothes. "ive got shit to do..." i said as i went to walk out the door.

he stood up and grabbed my wrist jerking me back "youll have shit to do when i say you have shit to do!" he yelled at me. i wasnt in the mood to deal with it so i just looked at him. "did you not hear me?! i have shit to do!" i yelled jerking away, walking out the door slamming it.

i stormed down to the front gate and told daryl to open it.

"everything okay?" he asked looking at me. "mind your buisness daryl..." i mumbled as i walked out and into the woods where i knew merle would be, and i was right. He was sitting up in a tree smoking a cigarette. "hey come down..." i said as i looked up at him. "shit girl, ya scared the fuck outta me.." he said as he began to climb down. i waited for him to get down, prepairing my self for his upcoming fit of rage over what i had said today...but to my surprise he didmt mention it.

"so you and rick are at odds i see?..." he asked leaning against the tree. "yea...he needs to understand my point of view..." i said, but regretting it after. "i didnt mean-" merle cut me off "i know what you mean..." he said tucking a hair behind my ear, revealing a hickey and bite marks.

Merle huffed and held his cigarette to me "its bad...i know...i just-" he shook his head.

"Im just going to feel like its not happening so i wont have to deal with that struggle and pain...its real i know... I just dont want it to be, i dont know what i want..." Merle had never been a man to tell his feelings and the fact that he had just said that was a big deal.

"...me either..." I mumbled

i was jolted out of my calm phase as i heard a snap in the woods. Merle pulled out his gun and stepped in front of me, my heart was pounding terrified of who if might be.

Just as merle cocked his gun a young girl stepped out, clearly shaken up by finding other living people.

"Back the fuck up!" Merle yelled aiming his gun at the curly headed girl. "Okay...put the gun down..." She said shaking, she looked about My age and she had long dark curly hair.

Merle swallowed hard and looked her up and down "what are you doing out here?" He asked her not taking the gun off her. "Living...what the hell does it look like im doing!" She said catching an additude.

A scowl appeared on merles face "let me ask the questions!" He said angrily.

"Whats your name?" I asked, i knew her...well. It had been over 7 years since ive seen her but you cant forget some people...especially her. She was my childhood best friend, my teenage years were spent with this girl. She knew everything about me... We did everything together...

It wasnt some dumb childish friendship, we grew up faster than we should have. Wed get drunk or high almost every weekend... I had to admit it was fun but we made some major mistakes.

"Hannah..." She said quietly, my heart jolted as she looked at me. I didnt say anything for a minute, lost in my own thoughts.

"D-do you know who i am?" I asked, glancing up at merle who had the most confused look on his face.

I looked back up at her as she slowly nodded her head, my emotions flying out control as tears filled my eyes "how the hell...y-youre alive!" I said running to her, wrapping my arms aroung her.

She hugged me back, this seemed like such a cliche moment in a movie or book, like it was too good to be real.

Neither of us had words, i had forgotten about merle standing there lost.

I turned around and looked at him "i know her... We need to get back... You go before me, okay?" I looked at him and he nodded walking off.

"dont say a word...about me with him, ill explain later just let me do the talking..." i said as i began to walk back.

i banged on the gates for daryl to let me in, it slowly opened and we stepped in. "go with him...you need to get cleaned up..." i said as i walked down the street to daryls house.

i walked in to see negan sitting at the kitchen table "how stupid to you think i am?" he asked in a hushed tone.

i swallowed hard and looked at him confused as he sniffed the air.

"merle is the only other person that smokes... besides my self..." he said standing up.

"and you fuckin reek sweetheart..." he growled as he slowly walked toward me.

"do you realize that your breaking my rules?" he asked angrily.

"i dont give a fuck about your rules! fuck off!" i yelled pushing him back.

thats when he wrapped his large hand around my throat pinning me against the wall.

"you think your so fucking tough now because you killed her!?" he yelled as he let go, not wanting to leave any marks.

i was so angry...not even toward him, just in general. i was confused and upset, he just happened to be at the right place at the right time.

he was staring at me with that minicing but desirable look he always gave when he was angry.

he was expecting me to cowar down to him, and when i didnt he was completely blindsided.

before i could even process the situation, my fist had already colided with the right side of his face.

i pulled back just as quick, my hand feeling like i had broken every single bone in it.

he stumbled back just a bit in dismay. "you bitch i-" i stopped him, looking up at him.

"im done! you ruined my family! you ruined my husband! you ruined my fucking life!" i yelled pushing him away, he didnt say a word.

"im not gonna do this any more! im fucking done!" i walked past him quickly.

"im done with you! im through being a leader, being your fucking bitch! fuck you!" i screamed walking out the door slamming it.

negan stood there trying to register what had just happened.

my head was so clouded with thoughts i couldnt bare to comprehend.

i began to walk, far away... i wanted to start over, this life i had here ment nothing to me anymore.

i walked away from it all, i found a car...and i left...


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15**

(Merles pov)

"c'mon girly...time to eat and then well go find your momma..." i said lifting tess up into the kitchen chair so that she was at the table.

"neeg..." i focased my eyes on her and what she had just said "what was that?" i asked lowering my self to her. "wheres neeg?" she asked looking around.

"well find him later, gotta eat now..." i said dismissing her likeness toward the bastard.

just about that time there was a loud knock on the door, as it opened. "knock motha fuckin knock! im coming in!"

i looked up to see negan had let himself in, to my surprize he had a swollen black eye, i gave him a look that was pretty confused as to why he was in my fucking house. "what?" i asked as i put food down for tess. "Neeg!"

i rolled my eyes at her excitement to see him as she raised her arms "hey there sweetie!" he walked over to her and picked her up, disregarding everything i was trying to fucking do.

"where is she?" he asked.

i stood there confused "i dont know who _she_ is, but i know she sure as hell aint here. aint been no woman in my house for god knows how long." i said with a scoff.

"sam, she isnt here?" he asked walking to the fridge and taking it apon himself to get a beer.

"did you not just hear the fuckin words that just came outta my god damn mouth? no she isnt here... might wanna check up yer asshole, she seems to be stuck up there alot..." i said, somewhat meaning it.

"is someone jealous?" negan raised an eye brow and took a sip of his beer. "look if ya aint here fir anything except to bother me and steal my beer you can get yer ass out my house.." i mumbled lighting a cigarette.

not a word came from either of us for what seemed like forever until he finally spoke up.

"she hates that you know..." negan said with a scoff. "me smoking in the house?...she dont live here anymore." i stated blankly.

"well i came to inform you that she is missing...ill be on my way now.." he said walking toward the door. "bye little one.." he leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"what the hell do you mean by _missing_?" i asked wanting him to clarify. "i mean she isnt fucking here! i cant find her!" negan turned to look at me, i couldnt tell if it was anger i heard in his voice or fear. "she do that?" i asked looking at his eye as he nodded.

i laughed a bit when he said that "you think that shit is funny?" he asked angrily. "this shit isnt gonna make me look good, and she knew that thats why she did it...cant find layla either...i swear to god them bitches probably pulled some cliche shit and ran away together." he said leaning against the wall.

a nervous feeling aroused in my stomach, i loved that girl... "well why the hell aint ya out there looking then..." i said.

almost an hour went by, negan and i talked about her...it was weird, talking to another man about my wife, even if she wasnt even considered my wife anymore...it was still weird.

i finally decided i would swallow my pride and suggest something i never thought i would. "we need to find her...and youre not doing it without me."

"and believe me! if _anything_ happens to that girl, i will kill you!" i said, just as i did negan spun around angrily.

"and you dont think id do the same?!" he said in a growl.

"you just want her alive so you can have her fuckin pussy!" i said becoming louder.

"thats what it was when i first started this!...things are different now! and dont even think you didnt do the same with her! because we both know damn well you only wanted her for that reason!" he said,and just as he did i bit my lip to keep from smirking.

he was falling for her, but i wasnt about to let him know that because i knew what would happen if he did.

the hard thing about him was that we were both the same, we were both so manipulating that we canceled each other out.

we didnt work well together because we both worked the exact same way...


	16. Chapter 16

chapter 16(sams pov)

"so...you just left?" layla asked as she sat in the back seat of the car i was driving, hannah to my right.

"yea...how many times do i need to say it..." i mumbled as i coughed.

"i think im coming down with something..." i said as i gripped the wheel.

"you need to explain...everything..." hannah said confused.

"i already did! you know everything you need to know..."

hannah was the kind of person who hated being lied to, she needed to know everything.

as kids she was always so protective over me but there are many things she doesnt know about me now...things she may not ever know.

that night we slept in the car, i began throwing up threw out the night.

they tried convinsing me to go back but i wasnt going to let that happen.

"i know a place, about a days away...a farm, there were people there... i dont know if they are welcoming anyone... i didnt stay to find out but if this gets any worse we need to try..." hannah said as she helped me back into the car.

"just go..." i mumbled as i layed my head back on the seat.

the car growled, not starting up.

"what the fuck!" she shouted slamming her fist on the wheel.

she tried again...nothing.

"come on...well walk..." said layla helping me out of the car.

"im fine... i dont need your help..." i whispered pulling away.

we had walked for hours on end, not stopping, we had no food or water...nothing...

it had been so long since id lived this way.

something wasnt right, i can always tell if im coming down with something but i couldnt put my finger on this... it was terrible.

"can we take a break..." i mumbled as my head began to feel light.

"come on...were almost there."

i remember shaking my head and my vision cutting out as i fell to the ground...

i woke up in a dark room with a cold rag over my forehead, my entire body ached...something felt off.

Just as i sat up a light flickered on and in walked an older man.

"How are you feeling?...i have some news..." He said in a soft voice.

"You have an extreme case of pneumonia...which explains the weakness and body pains...if you would have waited any longer i dont know if you would have made it...youre lucky youre friends got you here when they did or you and the baby wouldnt be here kiddo..." the man said quietly.

my heart jolted "what..." i whispered, barely audible because of the pneumonia. "what the hell are you talking about?" i shakily.

"i mean...youre pregnant...i figured you already knew considering how far along you were but it was hard to tell because youre so tiny.." tears streamed down my face as i looked away from the man. "your sure?" i already knew he was, i had noticed a bit of a change in my weight but i didnt think i was pregnant.

I wasnt upset about the baby...i was okay with that... i was upset because i didnt know whos it was...

If its Merles, Negan would have him killed...

If its Negans, they would both have me killed...


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 18

(Negans pov)

the sun was just beginning to set as she lay silently beside me, my arms around her and her back against my chest.

i could feel her soft breathing and her heart beat as i leaned in and kissed her head.

i felt her take a long breath and roll over to face me, she was beautiful.

She had me... not just in whatever kind of relarionship we had, but mentally.

She had me, like no other...and i knew i wanted no one else.

no matter what i did or how i felt toward the girl, she fucking had me...

she'd make me want to take lucille over Merle Dixons head more than i can count on two hands but it was obvious who she wanted...who she needed.

she didnt say a word, i could see her watching me as i was in deep thought.

i reached up and tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

how could i live with out this girl?...

"youre so beautiful..." i whispered as i gently ran my hand down her tiny arm.

i could feel her scars deep in her skin as i took her wrist to my lips.

"Dont leave me...not for him..." i said quietly not looking her in the eyes.

She was my Lucille... I never thought i could feel so strongly toward a woman in any way that wasnt sex, not like i did with Lucille...

Only Samantha Alexander was caught... she wanted Merle but she needed me... I wanted so hard just to shake her and tell her not to worry about him because what they had was over, shed just tell me it was because of me...

although it was i knew neither of us regreted it...shed tell me she had a child with him...

i couldnt argue with her...not on this... she didnt want to seem like she had given up on her family thats why she keeps "trying" for him...

Even though shes not really trying anymore, she just says she is so she wont feel the guilt.

I saw her smile a little bit as she looked at me, as i placed her small hand to cup my jaw.

"im not going anywhere Negan..." she whispered as she slowly leaned in and left a light kiss on my lips.

i took a long breath...taking her and all her glory in... i was in love with this girl and i was finally realizing it.

i pulled her in, wrapping her in my arms.

"i love you..." i whispered in her ear.

Everything froze and went black as i jolted awake, my heart pounding.

"what the fuck!" i said to my self as i sat up running my fingers threw my hair.

i let put a scoff at the stupid dream and layed back down in my empty bed.

I knew my mind was playing tricks on me, because id never say that...it was fucking stupid...

i didnt believe it...not one bit.

i got no sleep that night...


End file.
